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Friday, June 25th, 2010

Today’s society is one in which everyone expects everything. We, unlike our ancestors, do not think that we should settle for what we have and make the most of it. We expect so much more of life and life’s experiences than ever before.

Perhaps this is because we can do so much more adult dating. we can fly to the other side of the world in just a few hours, we can drive cars at ridiculous speeds and get from A to B in moments. We can see what is happening on the other side of the world at the same time that it is actually happening. Technology has made us realize what is out there and for some it stirs up a feeling of “missing out” on something or other. There is a tendency to dissatisfaction and this feeling relates to anything and everything in life.

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All of this puts a greater pressure upon us. If we want “EVERYTHING” then we have to find a way to get it. There is more pressure dating sites upon relationships in every way. We no longer even expect to meet our spouse in our local community. Some people rely on agencies to interview prospective spouses before they even venture to meet them for the first time; we are encouraged to think that we should be able to find our perfect spouse, and that we should canvass the world in this quest.

Once our spouse is found, then the pressure builds. If you come from different backgrounds or different communities dating sites, this too can add pressure. There can be different cultural expectations. There may be pressures due to missing day to day contact with family and friends, and stress as you take to your roles as parents for the first time.

We have incredibly high expectations in this day and age and this does not stop outside the bedroom door. Yes, we expect sex to be perfect dating as well. We expect to have multiple orgasms every time we make love. We expect our partner to be sexy, exciting, bold, loving, caring and so on…But what does this expectation do to us? How do we feel when placed under such pressure? Pressure instantly and instinctively triggers off the “fight or flight” response; it prepares you to flight or flee, which is none too conducive to great and exciting sex!

This pressure can often be enough to keep us out of the bedroom and off to the safe confines of a local bar! It’s really not good for the libido. Great sex comes from being yourself and letting yourself go with the flow. It is not a performance and there should be no pressure. Satisfaction in life, and in sex chat, comes from within. I’m not saying that you should not expect great sex; you will have wonderful and exciting sex simply by letting it happen as opposed to putting pressure upon your partner to make “it” happen.

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